May 10, 2010

Ass: A Game That You Can Play

The Scissor Sisters new album art reminded me of something I like to do dot dot dot

Summertime is almost here. Car trips to the beach, music festivals, yadda yadda. Some people like to count state license plates (here in America) or, you know, count cows. Mmmm hmmm. My friend Jessica and I get hours of enjoyment playing The Ass Game.

Here is what you do: Replace the last word of any song title with the word ass.


Girls Aloud: No Good Ass, Whole Lotta Ass, The Loving Ass, Something Kinda Ass

Now, it does not work with every band. There seems to be trend these days toward one word song titles - for instance, it's a pointless game to play with Lady Gaga song titles.

More good examples include some "legacy" artists:
UPDATE: Be sure to read the comments for more!

REM: Shiny Happy Ass, Losing My Ass, Fall On Ass, etc.

Kate Bush: The Sensual Ass, Hounds Of Ass, The Man With The Child In His Ass and my personal favorite, Running Up That Ass...

but the real winner is always Peter Gabriel: Red Ass, Games Without Ass, In Your Ass, Digging In The Ass, Here Comes The Ass, Shaking The Ass, Washing Of The Ass... the list goes on, children...

I challenge you all to come up with some prime examples for us!

Viva summer. Hot fun in the ass.


Martin said...

As a dear friend once told me, "Ain't no party like an ass club party!"

Dan said...

I LOL'd at "The Man With The Child In His Ass."

How about Stevie Nicks?
Bella Ass
Leather & Ass
Trouble in Shangri-Ass
Rooms on Ass
Beauty & The Ass
Wild Ass
Blue Ass
How Still My Ass

This could go on for days.

xolondon said...

How Still My Ass is vair vair good, as Phil would say.

Myfizzypop said...

Oh surely Debbie Gibson?!

Shake Your Ass
Only In My Ass
Out of the Ass
Electric Ass
Lost In Your Ass
This So-Called Ass
Think With Your Ass
In His Ass

Oh and so many more :)

D'luv said...


Can't Get You Out Of My Ass
Come Into My Ass
Put Yourself In My Ass
I Believe In Ass
In My Ass
In Your Ass
Giving You Ass
More More Ass
Hand On Your Ass
Some Kind Of Ass
Cowboy Ass
Love At First Ass
Your Disco Needs Ass
Keep On Pumpin' It Ass
Rhythm Of Ass
Wouldn't Change An Ass
I'm Over Dreaming (Over Ass)
Confide In Ass

countpopula said...

Can't Get You Out of My Ass!!! I almost lost my breakfast! HYSTERICAL.

tea lady said...


Can't Buy Me Ass
I Wanna Hold Your Ass
Tax Ass
In An Octopus's Ass
In My Ass
The Ballad of John and Ass
Love Me Ass
A Hard Day's Ass
Ticket To Ass
I Am the Ass
All You Need is Ass

John said...

I will go for the lowest common denominator and try Janet:

All for Ass
The Pleasure Ass
Someone To Be My Ass
Come Back To Ass
Black Ass
Son of an Ass
Love Will Never Do (Without Ass)
Where Are You Ass
You Want Ass
It All Comes Down To Ass
Just a Little Ass

and my favorite...
Funky Big Ass

daavid said...

A few PSB ones:

Always On My Ass
Where The Streets Have No Ass
Ass etc. (OK I cheated a bit there)
Go Ass
King's Ass

...the best thing about this one though is ALL their albums would be called "Ass", lol.

countpopula said...

For Beatles...

My wife just suggested...

"Why don't we do it in the ass?"


tea lady said...

Bravo Mrs Countpopula! Assism of the night...

nKr said...

This begs for some MJ..

Don’t Stop ’til You Get Ass
You Rock My Ass
Off the Ass
She’s out of My Ass
I Just Can’t Stop Loving Ass
Man in the Ass
Dirty Ass
Smooth Ass
Monkey Ass
Remember the Ass
P.Y.A. (Pretty Young Ass)

nKr said...

By the way, the verification letters I had to type for my last comment were "upirv". How does it know?

Edward O said...

A similar game is to replace any use of the word "love" as a noun with "cock".

xolondon said...

Hmmm! Nathan (NKR above) reports you can also do it by replacing Heart with Fart. Of course...

Unknown said...

I actually do think it works with some Lady Gaga:

The Ass
Bad Ass
Just Ass

and of course, the divine Miss M:

The Wind Beneath My Ass
From an Ass
Boogie Woogie Bugle Ass

And Cher:

(This Is a Song) For the Ass
A Different Kind of Ass
Gypsies, Tramps and Ass
Dark Ass

The list goes on...

Unknown said...


Candy Ass (From the album 'Hard Ass')
Open Your Ass
Hung Ass
Give It 2 Ass
True Ass
Like an Ass
What It Feels Like for an Ass
American Ass
Love Ass
Drowned World/Substitute for Ass
Bedtime Ass

Chaz and Lindy said...

Tori Ass:

- Strong Black Ass
- Fire to your Ass
- Abnormally Attracted to Ass
- Bouncing off Ass
- Beauty of Ass
- Muhammed My Ass
- Not the Red Ass
- In The Springtime of His Ass
- Liquid Ass
- Playboy Ass
- Precious Ass
- A Silent Night With Ass
- Glory of the Ass
- Pretty Good Ass
- The Wrong Ass

Adem With An E said...


Eyes On Ass
Taking Ass
It's All Coming Back To Me Ass
Rain, Tax (It's Ass)
Shadow of Ass
A song for Ass
Can't Fight The Ass
Map To My Ass
Only One Ass
The Power Of The Ass
Falling Into Ass
Think Ass
I'm Ass
Nature Ass
One Ass

Adem With An E said...


I want your ass
Spinning that ass
Young Guns (Go For Ass!)
Careless Ass
Fast Ass
Shoot The Ass
Club Ass
I'm Your Ass
One More Ass
Praying For Ass
Bad Ass
Nothing looks the same in the ass
A different ass
If You Were Ass

Adem With An E said...


Million Dollar Ass
Nothin' But Ass
A Song for ass
It's Not Right, But It's Ass
My Love is your ass
I wanna dance with ass
I will always love ass
Greatest love of ass
Saving all my love for ass
I have ass
Run to ass
Count on ass
Exhale (Shoop Ass)
Queen of the ass
I'm every ass
I'm your baby ass
You give good ass

Adem With An E said...

One more... SUGABABES.

About An Ass
Get Ass
Wear My Ass
Round Ass
Angels With Dirty Ass
Virgin Ass
Just don't need ass
No Man No Ass
Breathin' Ass
You On a good ass
Hanging on an ass
Nothing's as good as ass
My love is ass
Surprise (Ass)
Mended by ass
3 spoons of ass
Open the ass
Hole in the ass
Living for the ass
New ass
One ass
Same old ass
Soul ass
Real ass
Run for ass
In the ass
Caught in an ass
Red ass
Too lost in ass
Ace ass
She's an ass
Miss Ass
Gotta be ass
Push the ass
Nasty ass

Michael said...

Depeche Mode

World In My Ass
Personal Ass
Behind The Ass
Enjoy The Ass
Just Can't Get Ass
Blasphemous Ass
Sea Of Ass
Love, In Ass
Master And Ass
People Are Ass
Dreaming Of Ass
Fly On The Ass
Pleasure, Little Ass
I Feel Ass
Everything Counts (In Large Ass)
It's No Ass
John The Ass
The Darkest Ass
Walking In My Ass
A Question Of Ass
Breathing In Ass
Boys Say Ass!

D'luv said...


This Night Has Opened My Ass
The Boy With The Thorn In His Ass
Hand In Ass
How Soon Is Ass?
This Charming Ass
Rubber Ass
Golden Ass
Sweet And Tender Ass
Shakespeare's Ass
Back To The Old Ass
Suffer Little Ass
I Don't Owe You Ass
Pretty Girls Make Ass
Cemetary Ass
Meat Is Ass
You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Ass
Still Ass

Anonymous said...

Still sticking with Kylie...

Sweet Ass
Red Blooded Ass
Loving Ass
Enjoy Ass
Whenever You Feel Like Ass
Made Of Ass
Got To Be Ass
Especially For Ass
Tears On My Ass
Give Me Just A Little More Ass
Finer Ass
Where In The Ass?
Where Is The Ass
If You Don't Love Ass
This Ass
Say Ass
Through The Ass
I'll Still Be Loving Ass
Dangerous Ass
White Ass
The Ass
Disco Ass
Love Ass
Your Disco Needs Ass
Bittersweet Ass
Under The Influence Of Ass
2 Asses
Cover Me With Ass
Cherry Ass
No More Ass
Rippin' Up The Ass
I'm Just Here For The Ass

Michael said...


Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Ass
Let's Ass
The Secret Life Of Ass
I'm Afraid Of Ass
Cracked Ass
Ashes To Ass
The Man Who Sold The Ass
Oh! You Pretty Ass
Lady Grinning Ass
Be My Ass
Loving The Ass
The Heart's Filthy Ass
Scary Monsters (And Super Ass)
The Buddha Of Ass
Cat People (Putting Out Ass)

Vix said...

Miss Mariah Carey...

Vision of Ass
I Don't Wanna Ass
Always Be My Ass
Without Ass
One Sweet Ass
Anytime You Need An Ass
Thank God I Found Ass
All I Want For Christmas Is Ass
My Ass
Close My Ass
Through The Ass
Boy (I Need Ass)
Touch My Ass
It's Like Ass

small squirrel said...

And clearly, XO, our work here is done. LOL...

I do love Crowded House's "Nails in my Ass". Clearly, though, Mrs. Countpopula wins by a mile for "Why Don't We Do It In the Ass."

effing brilliant. "The Heart's Filthy Ass" is also pretty damned good.

And now, Sade? Or Mary J (Love Without an Ass comes to mind)

mbranchett said...

Can't believe you all overlooked the 'master of ass' Mr Jim Morrison -

20th Century Ass
Hello, I Love Ass
People Are Ass
Light My Ass
Riders On The Ass
I Can't See Your Face In My Ass
Love Her Ass
Touch Ass
My Eyes Have Seen Ass
L.A. Ass
The Unknown Ass
Back Door Ass
Crawling King Ass
Cars Hiss By My Ass
You're Lost Little Ass
Love Me Two Ass
The Crystal Ass
End Of The Ass
Take It As It Comes Ass
Moonlight Ass
Alabama Ass

El MarvelOso said...

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see Sade on here!

Smooth Ass
Your Love is Ass
Hang On To Your Ass
Frankie's First Ass
When Am I Going To Make A(n) Ass
Cherry Ass
I Will Be Your Ass
Is It A(n) Ass?
The Sweetest Ass
War of the Ass
You're Not The Ass
Never As Good As The First Ass
Tar Ass (?!?!)
Love Is Stronger Than Ass
Nothing Can Come Between Ass
Turn My Back On Ass
Clean Ass (LOL)
I Never Thought I'd See The Ass
No Ordinary Ass
Feel No Ass
Kiss Of Ass
Cherish The Ass
Bullet Proof Ass
King Of Ass
Somebody Already Broke My Ass
Slave Ass
Lovers Ass
It's Only Love That Gets You Ass
The Moon And The Ass
Morning Ass
Long Hard Ass
Bring Me Ass
In Another Ass
The Safest Ass
Soldier of Ass

countpopula said...

In honor of Tracey Thorn's new album releasing next week, and the fact that this post possibly has more comments than I've ever seen on XO's blog(!), here are some EBTG and Tracey faves:

Each and Every Ass
Tracey in my Ass
A Piece of my Ass
My Baby Don't Love Ass
Meet Me in the Ass
I Always Was Your Ass
Tears All Over Ass
I Don't Want to Talk About Ass
Ugly Little Ass
Good Cop Bad Ass


Don't Let the Teardrops Rust Your Shining Ass

and for Tracey:

It's All Ass
Falling Off an Ass
Hands Up to the Ass
Raise the Ass

Jason said...

OK, bitch...HERE! :)

Whitney Houston, "I Live for Your Ass"
Toni Braxton, "Unbreak My Ass"
Jody Watley, "Looking for a New Ass"
Everything but the Girl, "I Didn't Know I Was Looking for Ass"
Pet Shop Boys, "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Ass"
George Michael and Mutya Buena, "This Is Not Real Ass"
Savage Garden, "I Knew I Loved Ass" (...but DON'T tell Darren! ;)

xolondon said...

How Could An Angel Break My Ass
Just Be A Man About Ass

John said...

More Toni...

Love Should've Brought You Ass
Make My Ass
Hit the Ass
You're Making Me Ass
You Mean the World to Ass
I Don't Want Ass
I Love Me Some Ass
Spanish Ass
Breathe Ass

Jason said...

How the hell did I forget about Sade??? Almost her entire fucking greatest hits album works...

"Smooth Ass"
"The Sweetest Ass"
"Your Love Is Ass"
"Hang on to Your Ass"
"Never as Good as the First Ass"
"Love Is Stronger Than Ass"
"Nothing Can Come Between Ass"
"No Ordinary Ass"
"Kiss of Ass"
"Please Send me Someone to Ass"
"Cherish the Ass"
"Soldier of Ass"

xolondon said...

You missed Sade above! I love In Another Ass

Jason said...

ARGH, goddammit! Well, at least the previous comment forgot to include Sade's "Please Send Me Someone to Ass." But that's a cover song of a standard, so I guess it might not count? :(

Jason said...

Oh my god, I can't believe I screwed up something else. "I Live for Your Ass" should have been Natalie Cole, NOT Whitney Houston. What the hell was I thinking??? Duh. Guess I got them mixed up since they were both cocaine whores. Horrors!

xolondon said...

Natalie! Who sang What You Won't Do for Ass with Peabo Bryson?

Jason said...

Although I really hate to defame the songs by my favorite '80s band ever, the results are simply TOO GOOD to pass up...

Excerpted from across the entire catalog of Scritti Politti (what does this reveal about Green Gartside?):

Skank Bloc Ass
Is and Ought the Western Ass
Scritlock's Ass
The Sweetest Ass
Lions After Ass
Asylums in Ass
A Slow Ass
Rock-A-Boy Ass
Gettin', Havin', and Ass
The Word Ass
Small Ass
A Little Ass
Don't Work That Ass
Perfect Ass
Lover to Ass
Wood Ass
Flesh & Ass
Boom! There She Ass
First Boy in This Ass
All That We Ass
Best Thing Ass
Oh Patti (Don't Feel Sorry for Ass)
Bam Ass
Sugar and Ass
Philosophy Ass
World Come Back to Ass
I Don't Know Why I Love Ass
Take Me in Your Ass
Tinseltown to the Ass
First Ass
Die Ass
Mystic Ass
Smith 'n Ass
Born to Ass
The World You Understand Is Over and Ass
Here Come Ass
Prince Among Ass
Brushed with Oil, Dusted with Ass
The Last Time I Ass
Hands Ass
The Boom Boom Ass
No Fine Ass
Snow in Ass
Dr. Ass
After Ass
E. Eleventh Ass
Window Wide Ass
Road to No Ass
Mrs. Ass
Robin Ass

And now I just feel REALLY guilty. But it was still hilarious to type those out. With sincerest apologies to Green!

xolondon said...

Brushed with Oil, Dusted with Ass! BRILLIANT.

What about Simply Red? Did we get that?

Holding Back the Ass
Sad Old Ass
(Open Up The) Red Ass
Lady Godiva's Ass
If You Don't Know Me By Ass
Something Got Me Ass
Remembering the First Ass
For Your Ass
Say You Love Ass
Mellow My Ass
Ain't That a Lot of Ass
Oh! What an Ass

Jason said...

Ah, Simply Red. What about "Money's Too Tight to Ass"??

I just remembered the one Scritti Politti one-off single that I forgot to include in my list above: their reggae cover of The Beatles' "She's a Ass." 'Cos she always is, too!

Jason said...

Oh, and I think that the Scritti Politti re-named song that was meant just for me was, of course, their biggest hit single: "Perfect Ass." ;)

John said...


No U Hang Ass
If That's Okay With Ass
Stand By Your Ass
Until Ass
Melt the Ass (that's for Paul)
Tangled Ass
U Got Me Ass
Gonna Be Ass
All My Ass
Back at Ass
A Better Ass
Next To Ass
No Ass
Over the Ass
Stand by Ass
That's My Ass (my favorite)
What About Ass
You're Not Ass
The Way You Ass

Jason said...

So, regarding Simply Red's "Money's Too Tight to Ass" our current economy especially, the hookers and hustlers are all starving and suffering around the globe. And why, you ask? Think about it from the john's perspective: 'cos "Money's Too Tight to Ass"! :)

On a separate but related note, I'd add the following song titles to D'luv's above post about The Smiths:

William, It Was Really Ass
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Ass
That Joke Isn't Funny Ass
Bigmouth Strikes Ass (!!!!!)
Sheila Take a Ass
Girlfriend in a Ass (umm, with a strap-on, I guess?)
I Started Something I Couldn't Ass
There Is a Light That Never Goes Ass
These Things Take Ass
Handsome Ass
You've Got Everything Ass
Accept Ass
Girl Ass
Reel Around the Ass
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Ass
Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Ass
Nowhere Ass
Barbarism Begins at Ass
The Headmaster Ass
You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Ass
Wonderful Ass
Stretch Out and Ass
Oscillate Ass
Money Changes Ass
The Queen Is Ass
Take Me Back to Dear Old Ass
Vicar in a Ass
Half a Ass
What's the Ass?
Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Ass

Jason said...

And now for a consummate ass-list in tribute to my very favorite solo UK pop songsmith of the '80s, NIK KERSHAW...

Wouldn't It Be Ass
Dancing Ass
I Won't Let the Sun Go Down on Ass
Human Ass
Wide Ass
Nobody Ass
Radio Ass
One Step Ass
Elizabeth's Ass (Elizabeth who? Elizabeth Shue?)
Somebody Loves Ass
Times Like Ass
Dangerous Ass
Cloud Ass
What Ass
Life's A Bitch And Then You Ass
What the Papers Ass
Life Goes Ass
Running Ass
James Ass
Don't Let Me Out of My Ass (aaggghhhhh!)
Violet to Ass
Take My Ass
Wounded Ass
Cowboys and Ass (Mmmmm.)
One Ass
Don't Ask Ass
Burning at Both Ass
Lady on the Ass (but not on my ass...)
Have a Nice Ass
Find Me an Ass (agreed!)
Your Brave Ass
God Ass
Stick Ass
Made in Ass (eeewwww.)
Shine Ass
15 Ass
Get Ass
Can't Get Ass
Die Ass
Jane Ass
How Ass
Take Me to the Ass (me too)
Hello Ass
All Is Ass
Show Me What You're Made Ass
Oh You Beautiful Ass (why thank you!)
All About Ass
Promises, Ass
I Hope You're Happy Ass
Old Ass
Yeah, Ass
Born Ass
Loud, Confident & Ass
She Could be the Ass
You Don't Have to Be the Ass (yes I do)
Lost in Ass
This Broken Ass
Drum Ass
Gone to Ass
Shame on Ass
Cloak and Ass
Know Ass
You Ass
Wild Ass
City of Ass
Save the Ass

(Wow, that was almost his entire recorded output. Naughty Nik!)

Jason said...

Hmmm...I just realized that Simply Red would actually work better in reverse: "Ass Is Too Tight to Mention."

Jason said...

And finally, for my last epic comment, I offer you one more never-ending list of ass songs by none other than '80s UK pop/dance diva KIM WILDE.

(This one is dedicated to burntoutcar, aka Jams, because he adores Kim Wilde. Oh, and it's for vinnyvero, too.)

You Keep Me Hangin' Ass
Hit Ass
Another Step Closer to Ass
The Thrill of Ass
I've Got So Much Ass
School Ass
Say You Really Want Ass
She Hasn't Got Time for Ass (but I do!)
How Do You Want My Ass?
Don't Say Nothing's Ass
Hey Mister Ass
You Ass
Four Letter Ass
Love in the Natural Ass (umm, use some protection!)
Love's a Ass
Never Trust a Ass
You'll Be the One Who'll Ass
European Ass
Lucky Ass
Kids in Ass (okay, that's just wrong.)
Is It Ass?
Suburbs of Ass
Fit Ass
Rage to Ass
The Second Ass
Thought It Was Ass (ooops.)
Lovers on a Ass
Go for Ass
Turn It Ass
Songs About Ass
Putty in Your Ass (kinky...)
Loving Ass
Hold Ass
House of Ass
Stay Ass
Back Street Ass (look out!!)
Love Ass
Dream Ass
Dancing in the Ass
Shoot to Ass
Can You Hear Ass?
Sing It Out for Ass (yeah!)
Water on Ass
Our Ass
Everything We Ass
Young Ass
Chequered Ass
You'll Never Be So Ass
Falling Ass (sad)
Tuning In, Tuning Ass
Words Fell Ass
Action Ass
View From a Ass
Just a Ass
Chaos at the Ass (!!!)
Take Me Ass
Can You Come Ass?
Wendy Ass
Watching for Ass
Child Come Ass
Just Another Ass
Bitter Is Ass
CambodiASS (okay, that's cheating, I know)
It's Ass
Love (Send Him Back to Ass)
Storm in Our Ass
World in Perfect Ass
Who's to Ass?
Can't Get Enough of Your Ass
In Ass
I Can't Say Ass (but I sure can!)
Love Is Ass
Who Do You Think You Ass?
I Believe in Ass (amen.)
Touched by Your Ass
I Won't Change the Way That I Ass
Million Miles Ass
The Light of the Ass
Heart Over Ass
A Miracle's Ass
Try Ass
Too Ass
Breakin' Ass
High on Ass (ooooh)
This I Ass
C'mon Love Ass
True to Ass
Sweet Ass
Where Do You Go From Ass?
You're All I Wanna Ass
Life & Ass
Now & Ass
Back to Ass
Perfect Ass
Together We Ass
Forgive Ass
Baby Obey Ass
I Ass
Lost Without Ass (I know how you feel)
Maybe I'm Ass
Game Ass

Whew! And now I shall officially and permanently retire from the Ass Game. Thanks for assing.

xolondon said...

you are allowed grammatical fixes, like View From an Ass!

Jason said...

Oh damn, I didn't know that we're allowed to do grammatical corrections. Well, I guess it's too late now (unless you can correct them from there, Middle Eight dominatrix...and that might take forever with my long-ass entries)!

And besides, I suppose that I kinda like the "street slang" sound of those titles that are grammatically incorrect.

By the way, since I had to come out of retirement (briefly) to make this final comment, it appears that we totally forgot about the NEW KYLIE!! And so, from Kylie's Aphrodite, I hereby offer you:

All the Ass
Get Outta My Ass
Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Ass)
Everything Is Ass
Better Than Ass
Too Ass
Cupid Ass
Looking for an Ass
Can't Beat the Ass
Go Hard or Go Ass

*popsublime takes a bow, thank you, thank you*

Dan said...

We can't forget Kylie's "Mighty Ass." Still not at the level of "Can't Get You Out Of My Ass" but it comes close.

Dan said...

And I can't believe I never did Fleetwood Mac:

Tango in the Ass
Say You Love Ass
Straight Ass (!)
Bleed to Love Ass
Second Hand Ass
Love In Ass
In the Back of My Ass (from Behind The Mask - only barely counts as a FM track.)

Jason said...

OK, this came up the other day in an e-mail with Dan, so I can't resist coming out of retirement briefly to post it here. I present you with the greatest ass hits of...Bananarama!

I Heard an Ass
Cruel Ass
Shy Ass
Love in the First Ass
I Can't Help Ass
Love, Truth & Ass
Nathan Ass
He Was Really Sayin' Ass
Robert DeNiro's Ass (my FAVE!!!)
A Trick of the Ass
I Want You Ass