January 7, 2005

"Barney, wanna see your sissie?"

That is a direct quote from Laura Bush yesterday. As I wrote before Christmas, the only tolerable member of the First Family is Barney the dog. The new Scottie puppy, Miss Beazley, has arrived, complete with little Scottie haircut. She is very sweet, innocent and bouncy, but I fear she will be forever corrupted by the Republican rhetoric being spewed around her perky-yet-impressionable ears.

What does Miss Beazley have to look forward to?
1) Dognapping at the hands of "evil terrorists" hellbent on "taking away our freedoms."
2) A mangy life on the streets of DC when Social Security is drained by Wall Street tycoons as she enters old age. She'll probably wind up in a Southeast pound.
3) Most disconcertingly, back alley abortion if she gets humped.

Long live Miss Beazley! May she teach her masters lessons of humility and kindness!

Watch the unedited video feed of this press extravaganza. You'll see bits of this on the news.

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