March 3, 2010

Sharleen Spiteri plunges to the depths of pop hell

Last May I did a post on the cynical marketing of Sharleen Spiteri (below). The outcome of this is a travesty of an album, with the makeshift title The Movie Song Book. Just out in the UK, it is crammed with horrifying karaoke renditions of trite "classics" (Take My Breathe Away) or shiteous versions of good songs (a ragtime Cat People?). You can just imagine Sharl strolling into the studio and recording these in one take each. I mean, this is John Barrowman stuff - music for people who don't like music.

Here is the original May 5, 2009 post...



We've all heard of test marketing in pop music, but I've never seen something so blatant. Poor Sharleen Spiteri. Her record company is polling fans via mailing lists to decide what trashy covers album she should do....



The depressing part? How cynically trite the options are. Do we need another Dusty Springfield covers record? What about the "Celtic Song Book" album? Since when is Maria McKee's Show Me Heaven considered Celtic? At least there was no Carrickfuckingfergus. And can you hear Sharl warbling I've Had The Time Of My Life? How demode is that?!

It's a long, hard fall for the same artist who recorded Say What You Want and Summer Son. Bring back the woman who recorded an album lying on her back in the studio...

Here is the first single, a gonad-shrinking version of Xanadu performed with Terrible Hair:

9 comments:

P.Viktor said...

Wow - she has really plummeted the depths. What is she thinking? Have to admit though, I always thought Texas were incredibly naff so I am not so surprised, but this is an all time career low. Perhaps she should do a duets album with Lisa Stansfield or maybe Mick Hucknall? Great post and thanks for the Erik Hassle link!

Dan said...

Dear God - that version of "Xanadu" made my ears bleed a little. It's too bad, because I think she's capable of much more. If anyone should cover "Xanadu", it should be Sophie Ellis Bextor!

I think I need to go listen to the original.

Mr. Will-W. said...

a girl's gotta eat. that's all i've gotta say.

Paul said...

frankly i gotta eat too, but i wouldn't turn in shoddy work to get my grub! I gotta have a little pride too. Oh sharleen. I'm not angry. Just disappointed.

Jacky said...

Oh Sharleen. I'm cringing. Plus I can just imagine her doing interviews and saying things like "I'm so normal, so so normal, I eat pasties straight out of the bag in motorway servic stations. See! Normal!"

undisco_me said...

She's practically Mary Kiani these days. Exaclty.

I actually love the Texas album track Saint - she can do so much better with that lush voice of hers. And those last few 'yeah-eh-yeah' moments on Inner Smile give me goosebumps.

She was on the UK's sorry equivalent to The View today and her explanation of her decision to do this album did not involve anything about spam emails....

Jason said...

I actually like some of her covers...especially "Between the Bars".

countpopula said...

I love this post! Tell us how you really feel!

Seriously though, this shit is NOT good from somebody who has so much more to offer. The last Texas album (Red Book) was actually pretty damn good, and that was only like three years ago! NOBODY but Olivia should sing Xanadu (sorry Dannii), although Alison Goldfrapp might have the vocal range and the current style to carry off those final notes. Sharleen should have done Magic or I'm Alive if she wanted a Xanadu song, really.

This may sell to the soccer mom set though.

P.Viktor: Nice calling out on Mick Hucknall and Lisa Stansfield--two other formerly MAJOR talents that continue to flounder. I'll throw in Alison Moyet (sorry--I don't like her covers/standards/jazzy material, but her Yazoo stuff is STILL fiery--more like that PLEASE) and Seal (see what marrying a supermodel and leaving England does? Listen to his debut or even Seal 2 and pine for lost days.)

xolondon said...

I know some people have never liked her, but I did and Inner Smile is an epic, as is Say What You Want. Agreed that Red Book was not terrible, so we'll see what happens next.

I wish some young good producer would work with Lisa Stansfield. I bet she still has It.