March 16, 2009
If it were up to me, vol. 2
Antigone's Promiscuity would have a video featuring her in all the parts (the girls in the lyrics are actually different sides of one person).
Jimmy Somerville would return with a perfect album a la Marc Almond.
Magnificent would have been U2's first single from No Line...
Funhouse would have been Pink's new single
Pandemonium would have been Pet Shop Boys first single from Yes.
Annie Lennox would sex it up just a wee bit more, with a blazing dance track and red lippy.
Vanessa Daou would release a record as perfect as Zipless.
Sam Taylor would record with Ben Watt.
Human League would release a majestic comeback album, produced by Ladytron and Trevor Horn.
Folks would remember that Michael Jackson is the world's most "loveable" [cough!] pedo/paedo before rushing to the O2.
Courtney Love would keep it together and prove them wrong.
Every city would have a Virgin Megastore with CD singles.
Prince would fuck off. And release a Purple Rain remaster before fucking off.
Madonna would disappear for one full year, emerging with an electro-orchestral masterwork.
Patrick Wolf would release Together on his new disc.
Charlotte Gainsbourg would release her new single NOW.
Chris Cornell would have never met Timbaland.
Kate Bush would release a double disc Best Of and all new remasters.
Scott Simons would get a full CD release.
Neneh Cherry would sing on the next Air album.
Miley Cyrus would marry her father and move to Bahrain.
Daniel Merriweather would have done a few contemporary sounding songs.
Tori Amos' new CD would have 11 songs (including one that is ten minutes long).
kd lang would record a Christmas album this summer.
Grace Jones would immediately record a new CD.
Beck would be caught in an illicit affair with Travolta.
Black Room would answer my email.
Ewan Macgregor would release his Marius DeVries-produced album.
David Gray would do a follow-up.
Janet Jackson would return to Jimmy and Terry. Oh wait, she has!
My job-seeking friends would all get jobs making 60+k.
I would have a blazing hotel tryst to the sounds of Royksopp's Silver Cruiser.
If It Were Up To Me, Vol 1