July 22, 2006
Catching up with George: A night in the gay garden
An easier affair indeed. According to the oh-so-reputable News Of The World George Michael has been up to his old tricks (literally if you read the report) in Hampstead Heath! Cruising at night!
Love their first paragraph:
News of the World investigators caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes (above) after cavorting with a pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver (below).
But wait! There is so much more! Here are more choice excerpts…
…he ignored all the risks and dangers to pull seedy Norman Kirtland. The pair kissed and groped each other before going even further.
…his new buddy Kirtland crept from the undergrowth looking sheepish and rushed to his Ford Transit van. As he opened the door a grubby, stained mattress was clearly visible in the back.
…Looking gross and dishevelled, Kirtland answered the door naked — pulling on grimy shorts as he invited us in…Kirtland's dingy place just off Brighton seafront, was littered with rubbish, dirty crockery and filthy laundry. His only companion is a 20-year-old cat.
…”He looked kind of brown so I said to him, ‘You're not totally English, are you?'
…"He did it very well. That was one of his major points. Then it was fondling and mutual pleasuring. It wasn't full sex but it was fantastic."
…When confronted by our team, a shaken George desperately tried to justify his sordid secret quest for cheap, risky thrills…In a sweat, the ashen-faced singer declared: "Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!"
I actually feel sorry for George. He is clearly 1) not the happiest bean in the pod and 2) just not cut out for fame anymore. This whole story is likely bullshit, but people will want to believe it because it's so kooky. And losers like me will repeat it! Poor Whore-hay.
Posted by xolondon