June 2, 2006
I'm living for the weekend, trolls!
Do you like that picture of The Dancing Kids? I think they look like they are on the Madonna tour. If you want to see more, look at Krissy's cultish Dancing Kids pictures. Actually, the kids are here with me now in my office, but I don't have a camera. Will rectify that soon.
Xtuna has a new single out called "Ain't No Other Man" This jury's out on whether it's good or not, but it does sound different and for that I am thankful. Hear it at Popbytes.
Erlend Øye, late of Kings Of Convenience, has a new group called Whitest Boy Alive. Deets at Stereogum. Let me tell ya they are the Dullest Boys Alive. Erlend sounds great in a sqizzy electronic atmosphere on his solo CD and KoC's songs are positively gorgeous. This, however, sounds like unbaked demo tracks, bland and lifeless. There may be decent songs in there, but Øye surely has the money to record them properly. Boo hiss!
Mojave 3 have released the single of the year, according to Torr, and it's called "Breaking The Ice" Hear this jaunty track at Plague Of Angels. Gosh, dont' they sound Amurrrican now? I think it sounds like Neil Halstead is singing "breaking the eyes again"!
Keane's upcoming single "Crystal Ball" has some of the worst lyrics I have heard since... Coldplay! Take a gander at the chorus lines: "Oh crystal ball, crystal ball, save us all, tell me life is beautiful, mirror, mirror on the wall..." Jebus GAWD, that is shit!
Vaginal rejuvenation is all the rage in New York City. Here is the urogynics ad: If your vaginal laxity is severe, or your labia are assymetric or large or bothersome, you may benefit from miminally invasive scar free vaginal reconstructive surgery. I say what about the guys? Does one ball hang lower than the other? How about a ball-lift or dermabrasion of the scrotal sac? Electrolysis of the perineum? Who is doing that, hmmm? What about the dying or plucking grey pubic hairs? Hmmm? Equal rights for men damnit!
Which brings me to my feet. (heh heh, see what I did there?!) I have been using Lush's Pied de Pepper foot cream for like six months and I swear it really works. Product placement = lifetime supply? I put it on every morning and most nights. If you run into me on the street (in some of my bitchin' shoes) you can sniff and lick my feet and you will like it! You. will. like. it. gimp.
30 billion people watch the World Cup, or something like that. So I am thinking I should start writing a them for next year's Cup, don't you? That would surley mean I'd never have to work again. No wonder Embrace sold out.
Finally, this is an Eraser-free zone. The most overrated album is due to be released soon, but why bother buying it when every fucking blog has 3 songs up? Emo-haircutted indolent girlyboys worldwide are sat in front of their monitors wiping the cum out of their underpants. To me it sounds like whining set to blips and bleeps. Open your throat Thom Yorke, and I don't mean that rudely. Really, no surprises here.
Posted by xolondon