September 11, 2005

Musing on MTV's React Now

We stumbled onto this endless MTV concert for Katrina. Some "blogging" as we watch...

The Roommate says she thinks that Johnny Rzeznik* of fading 90's band Googoo Dolls looks like a cross between Diane Lane and an aged Mickey Rourke. I think he looks like a glammed up Anne Murray. He has nice highlighted hair, earrings and necklace. He's wearing a black "shell" with a blazer on top. Really, he is a pretty woman.

We were earlier trying to figure out if Emmylou Harris has been pulled. It doesn't seem very Emmylou to get plastic surgery, but she's superfresh tonight. I liked the first few minutes of her song with Neil Young, but then it got a bit repetitive.

Omigod! Didn't the bottle blond guy from Motley Crue have a reality show where he lost weight and had plastic surgery? He looks like the same fat wino fuck as always - and he cannot sing compared to the Linkin Park dude, who loooks like a computer geek, doesn't he? I have a feelng he is a nice person. Chester, I mean, not Vince!

Jewel! What the fuck happened to her - has she moved back into that damned van? Anyway, she looks a little older, but is shocking beautiful despite the snaggle tooth. Her song bores the shit out of me though.

There is very little new stuff for these people to say. You can't believe the amount of water and the smell, etc etc etc. The MTV News girl Suchin (?) is riding around the streets of N.O. in a rescue boat, wearing a fuschia ttity top. Dumb bitch. How can you sit there and cry over the humanity in a fuschia titty top?

Usher looks bloated. Just sayin' - he's got ugly mug for pecs'n'pop star, doncha think?

Secret revealed: I think the Alan Jackson song "Rainy Day In June" has been one of the better performances. He came on, I liked his voice, and then I sat there in horror thinking he was that right wing asshole Toby Keith. He wasn't!

And please, Sheryl Crow, go home and ride your yellow bike.

Oh, look Red Hot Chili Peppers! I hate this bridge song. I would rawwwther hear "I want to party on your pussayyy babaayyyyyy." Anthony has lady hair too... Maybe if he bangs Anne Murray* from earlier ON LIVE TV I will send in some money. Nice Kanye West t-shirt btw!

How much is The Game's watch worth? Enough to rent housing for ten families for one month, I'd guess?I don't really know who he is, but I assume he is associated with Eminem, who just called in from rehab! Anyway, the Game mentioned Alliyah just now, so how long until a Notorious B.I.G. reference? THERE IT WAS! "Like Big said.."

Macca is on now. He is plugging his new single here! Oh my. Melissa Etheridge WROTE a song for the show, Paul! If Linda were alive, you just know she'd be there playing tambourine (and that is not a slam. I like Linda McCartney.)

Dave Matthews is doing my guilty pleasure song "Stayyyyyyyyy beauuutifulllll babeeeee" and it sounds just like the recorded version. He is in somewhere like Kansas. MTV really had to fan out the camera crews for this show. [this si long - time passes like a dozen transatlantic flights.] Okay DMB is going crazy now.

They always end each song on these shows with dramatic silence. I love how the Madden boy (is he the one that is Mr. Hilary Duff or the one with pimples? I vote for the latter!) - the boy from Good Charlotte is giving us a speech. Does it make me old to say all these singers sound alike to me.

Chris Cornell and Gary Dourdan from CSI are actually the same man. They have never been seen together.

Ohmygahh Fiona Apple has come out of retirement for this! This song "Extraordinary Machine" is cute and tinpanalleyish. It's sort of classic Fiona self-deprecation. Good for her. She looks good - no longer such a will of the wisp. (and she is hitting some high ass notes!)

Trent Reznor is a 'roid queen! I would never have known that was him. He looks like a meathead guy from a NY gym. A Chelsea gym, but a gym nonetheless. I guess he is too major to sing, if that's what he calls it.

Okay I am worn out. One more song and then I am off to bed.

1 comment:

V said...

you are brutal! :)