March 7, 2005

Mahr: There’s no such thing as Hollywood values

From Bill Mahr's February 25th Real Time show on HBO:

There’s no such thing as Hollywood values. In honor of the Oscars Sunday, let me just say that every time I see some pundit say that Hollywood is out of touch, I just want to take my big screen plasma TV and march it right down to the end of my private road and throw it over the big iron gate!! [laughter] [applause] Thank you.

Hollywood versus America. It’s a tactic that works very well as conservative red meat. It’s kind of continuation of the red state-versus-blue state theme of the last election, where blue-staters were convinced that everything between New York and L.A. was one giant forest where Ned Beatty is constantly being sodomized by hillbillies. [laughter]

And red-staters were told that people like me and Tim [Robbins] spend all our time performing abortions and figuring out ways to desecrate the flag. [laughter] Please, they’re just hobbies! [laughter] [applause]

But, politically, it’s always been advantageous to divide people, to make America a place of warmongers versus wimps, elitists versus morons, gun nuts versus people with normal size penises. [laughter] [applause] The only problem is, it’s not true. Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror. [applause]

We made all those movies with the smirking sex and the mindless violence and the superheroes beating the shit out of zombies because that’s what you wanted. It’s what the whole world wants. Movies are the one thing about America the rest of the world still actually likes. [laughter] It’s America’s last export. I mean, besides the torture. [laughter]
And even the ones being tortured are like, “Hey, cool, this is just like in ‘The Deer Hunter.’” [laughter] [applause]

So to those of you who think that if we just put “Leave It To Beaver” back on, that the gay people would come to their senses—[laughter]—I say to you, this: “Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs…I will.” [laughter] [applause]

And I’ll tell you something. She’ll still be better off for it, because I’ll teach her that there’s more to values than reciting things and praying and voting for Bush; that being moral actually involves making choices guided by principles like fairness and tolerance. [applause] [cheers]

...So, come on, America, just admit it, when it comes to Hollywood, “You love us, you really love us!!” [laughter] [applause]

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