August 24, 2004

How fucking cynical can this get?



USA Today is reporting that Titney Spears
will be marrying her white trash boyfriend TWO DAYS before the release of her Greatest Hits record. Of course, this is just gossip. It's not like USA Today prints real news. Let's just hope that Wigga / Babydaddy Federline puts on a new oversized white tee with pressed homeboy jeans before the ceremony to Miss Redneck Superstar.

I know I shouldn't be so mean: they're really nice kids, right? Upcoming BritNews predictions? That his ex (and Babymama) Shar is the maid of honor because GodOnlyKnows how much moolah they are throwing at that girl.

Can't wait for details on a Red Bull-sponsored honeymoon. I am thinking Cancun or Tijuana, where Brit can give Kev blowjobs on the motel balcony with a mouthful of cheap tequila. She'll wear a Von Dutch cap to slightly obscure the proceedings, thus allowing the pics to be published in tabloids internationally. Swallow the worm baby!

UPDATE! Please note the photo above, where Miss Titney is seen exiting a public bathroom in bare feet. Where does the madness end? As reported by
Stereogum

No comments: